Inability of White Men to Cry Pegged as Source of California Drought
PALO ALTO, Cali. – Today researchers at Stanford University released a report on the source of the extreme drought plaguing California this year. At a press conference before a concerned audience of...
View ArticleI Only Listen To Ke$ha In These Two Instances
I only listen to Ke$ha in two scenarios and always against my will. I know this seems like a dated reference. I mean, where has Ke$ha been? What is Ke$ha? Is her name Russian, or Ratchet? Truly...
View ArticleTransgender Teen Sticks it to the DMV
I don’t care who you are or what floats your boat; if you are a U.S. citizen, you’ve wanted, at some point in your life, a way to sock it to the DMV. That’s exactly what 17-year-old transgender teen,...
View ArticleHaving Trouble Making Lady Friends? Think Like You’re Drunk
Waiting in line for the women’s restroom with a bunch of other drunk chicks is the most wonderful experience. It’s pure bliss. It’s like living in an Earth Wind and Fire song. It’s like slip-in-sliding...
View ArticleHerd Control: Putting Animals on the Pill
Off the coast of Los Angeles, on Catalina Island, scientists overheard this conversation between two female bison (called cows, but not to their faces) sitting on the edge of their beds: Female bison...
View ArticleWe Asked 12 Women What They Love About their Tatas and Here’s What They Said
Boobs, breasts, bust, the twins, the girls, twin peaks, boobies, titties, tits, melons, breasticles, mammaries, bosom, tatas, hooters. No matter what you call them, all women have them and most women...
View ArticleHorrific Periods: You Never Know with Aunt Flow
I love surprises, under a few conditions: 1. I must have control of the situation, meaning that I’m the surpriser, not the surprisee. 2. They involve finding money in my pocket or someone gifting me...
View Article7 Ways to Make Yourself More Attractive to Men
7. Diet Eat whatever you want. If you like cheeseburgers, eat those. Pro tip: put a fried egg on one of those bad boys to light it up. If you are a health nut, choke back that soy kale coconut milk...
View ArticleThe HOTTEST Summer Work-from-Home Looks
ummer is upon us and for many, that means pretending to work from home. If you feel like you’re ever stuck in a rut with your work from home style, always falling back on those pajamas or yoga pants,...
View Article5 Reasons You Need a Marathon Training Buddy
ne fateful day in May, my boyfriend and I, too in love for our own good and lacking proper judgement, signed up for a marathon. As it turns out, training for and then actually running a marathon is...
View ArticleThings That Seem Like Good Ideas But Aren’t, Episode 1: Camping
Why it seems like a great idea: The word “camping” evokes visions of an American Eagle ad with young, beautiful (but slightly scruffy) friends throwing their heads back in laughter around an Eagle...
View ArticleThings That Seem Like a Good Idea But Aren’t, Episode 2: Midnight Movie...
Why they seem like a good idea: Hey! Did you hear there’s a new Chronicles of the Dark Games and the Sorcerer’s Stone coming out? It’s a highly anticipated film. Sure to be a blockbuster hit! All of...
View ArticleThings That Seem Like A Good Idea, But Aren’t, Ep. 3: Early Morning Workouts
Why they seem like a good idea: When you commit to an early morning workout you feel like a professional athlete. You envision Ronda Rousey waking up with the sun to train, and now, when that alarm...
View ArticleThe 5 Most Passive Aggressive Emojis
If you’re totally fine and don’t care, it’s whatever, people can just do what they want, it’s fine you’ll be fine, as per usual no one cares what you think, but that’s fine you’re used to it, then...
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